More Herbicidall stuff doooone. I'm content with it. More to go with neverending passion project~No matter how vile a person is, deep in my mind theres a respect held for people who managed to figure out how to draw earnestly. I'd like to be as earnesyt as I can be too. But right now: I'm having a migraine again
29.12.2024 22:31
I'm feeling better than I was a fewdays ago, seriously. It's so scary. Like God blew air to my face harshly, reminding me to take a deep breath like a newborn forgetting how to breathe. My body's been weird. The to be expected is there, frequent headaches/migraines, but lately my hands couldn't stop shaking too, not as bad as the years before but it's there, however head-maze-wise, I'm better. The accumulation of bad choices in my life is starting to show itself, I try appreciating my body to encourage it to keep fighting, thats a step
22.12.2024 02:11
Went to the museum today, the paintings there put me at awe. I want to study every piece, want to immerse myself in every technique, the image above is a painting depiction of hell~~It's pleasant to see they have a public archive regarding the collection, however their scans are a bit too dark for my liking. One way or another I have to get rid of this flaw-finding mindset!
PITA MAHA COLLECTION / KLUNGKUNG KRIS COLLECTION / LOMBOK COLLECTION these are my favorites
21.12.2024 02:11
When I was 14, I was stabbed in the stomach. On the way to the hospital, I was soincredibly;nauseous, I thought the pit in my stomach was blood, I held it in the whole car ride, not wanting to spill it. When I finally arrived at the hospital, the first thing I did was throw up--but instead of blood coming out (like in animes,) it was just regular vomit, infront of every staff. There's no flattery, ever since then it kickstarted my fascination with vomit--and things
16.12.2024 18:19
Yellow flag (contagion), historically displayed on ships to indicate the presence of disease or quarantine (obsolete); also used in some cities to mark a recent death in a neighborhood, regardless of cause.
27.11.2024 13:46
"There are two type of sin a human would commit in this world, one are sins commited against God, and the other--sins commited against other humans. Today, you must know, that the latter sin weighs much much heavier on the day of judgement, because God is forgiving, humans are not." It's a quote i extracted from something my religious teacher said around two weeks or a month ago. I've always known about how they divided the act, venial and mortal, involuntary and voluntary... but what my teacher was new to me. It offered something greater for me to think about.
"God is forgiving, humans are not." It kept replaying over and over in my mind. Jesus, the son of God based on the New Testament, a direct messiah of him, has an essence of God himself. The essence of forgiveness, he is more God than human, it may be cruel. Human nature is to hold grudges, to not forgive, to lament over every misery afflicted upon one and to afflict their own hell to others, it is unbeateable. Humans are never meant to understand forgiveness in its entireity and ugliness. To get closer to God now that i realize it in dread, is to get closer to forgiveness, the very thing a human can't understand.
Forgiveness upon others, God himself, and yourself. Is that what is it all about? The thing I've missed all my life? forgiveness? Life is about being beaten over and over, challenged by the triumpth of life, and learning how to forgive. A person so miserable, so grieved, so human, is one who is so unforgiving that it holds their own act against their head, and couldn't forgive even themselves. The sprout of hate, the very iron before it is welded into a sword of terrorism, are unforgiveness and grudges. It;s so corny, i feel like i can't describe this newfound dread earnestly at all.
:;;It's still in my head now;
08.10.2024: 07:53
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Time goes on so fast
17.09.2024: 20:15
Thinking about it now, the current state of the art world is really cruel
17.09.2024: 20:09
I really don't know what kindof feel to aim for for the main site. Compiling references and feeling pictures aren't my thing... I'm braindead... Really, 'll figure it out on my own someone else could replicate my work easily, color them as theyd like, and tell it with their own mouth, but they can;t ever replicate the life experience dog shit i have to step over on the road everyday to finally lead me; into making art... so i suppose, it's all worth it. all worth it; Won't stop me
When I was 14, I was stabbed in the stomach. On the way to the hospital, I was soincredibly;nauseous, I thought the pit in my stomach was blood, I held it in the whole car ride, not wanting to spill it. When I finally arrived at the hospital, the first thing I did was throw up--but instead of blood coming out (like in animes,) it was just regular vomit, infront of every staff. There's no flattery, ever since then it kickstarted my fascination with vomit--and things
16.12.2024 18:19
Yellow flag (contagion), historically displayed on ships to indicate the presence of disease or quarantine (obsolete); also used in some cities to mark a recent death in a neighborhood, regardless of cause.
27.11.2024 13:46
"There are two type of sin a human would commit in this world, one are sins commited against God, and the other--sins commited against other humans. Today, you must know, that the latter sin weighs much much heavier on the day of judgement, because God is forgiving, humans are not." It's a quote i extracted from something my religious teacher said around two weeks or a month ago. I've always known about how they divided the act, venial and mortal, involuntary and voluntary... but what my teacher was new to me. It offered something greater for me to think about.
"God is forgiving, humans are not." It kept replaying over and over in my mind. Jesus, the son of God based on the New Testament, a direct messiah of him, has an essence of God himself. The essence of forgiveness, he is more God than human, it may be cruel. Human nature is to hold grudges, to not forgive, to lament over every misery afflicted upon one and to afflict their own hell to others, it is unbeateable. Humans are never meant to understand forgiveness in its entireity and ugliness. To get closer to God now that i realize it in dread, is to get closer to forgiveness, the very thing a human can't understand.
Forgiveness upon others, God himself, and yourself. Is that what is it all about? The thing I've missed all my life? forgiveness? Life is about being beaten over and over, challenged by the triumpth of life, and learning how to forgive. A person so miserable, so grieved, so human, is one who is so unforgiving that it holds their own act against their head, and couldn't forgive even themselves. The sprout of hate, the very iron before it is welded into a sword of terrorism, are unforgiveness and grudges. It;s so corny, i feel like i can't describe this newfound dread earnestly at all.
:;;It's still in my head now;
08.10.2024: 07:53
Time goes on so fast
17.09.2024: 20:15
Thinking about it now, the current state of the art world is really cruel
17.09.2024: 20:09
I really don't know what kindof feel to aim for for the main site. Compiling references and feeling pictures aren't my thing... I'm braindead... Really, 'll figure it out on my own someone else could replicate my work easily, color them as theyd like, and tell it with their own mouth, but they can;t ever replicate the life experience dog shit i have to step over on the road everyday to finally lead me; into making art... so i suppose, it's all worth it. all worth it; Won't stop me